When Anxiety Threatens to Steal the Joy From Your Wedding Day – And Why I Photograph Weddings Differently Because of It


Let me start with this: if you’re feeling anxious about your wedding day, you're not alone.

And more importantly, you’re not broken.

I know that kind of anxiety. I’ve lived it. The creeping feeling that even something happy – something exciting – might get overshadowed by nerves, fear, and the urge to just run and hide.

It’s why I photograph weddings the way I do. And it’s why I want to tell you a bit of my story.


The girl who never liked the spotlight

I’ve always been a bit of an anxious person. At school, I kept my head down. I didn’t want to speak out or draw attention to myself – I was bullied, and it felt safer to just disappear into the background.

When I trained to be a nurse, I was told more than once that I’d never make it because I was too quiet.

Well… I proved them wrong. I’ve now been a qualified nurse for 34 years.

But it hasn’t been easy. University meant presentations – and for someone who hates public speaking, that was a huge challenge. I took medication and even tried hypnotherapy to help with the fear. And while I’ve learned ways to manage it over time, it’s still a daily effort. That fight-or-flight response? It still shows up if I’m the centre of attention. I get it. I really do.


The unexpected path to wedding photography

Photography became a kind of therapy for me. I started out photographing wildlife – the peaceful kind of photography, just me, my camera and nature. No pressure. No people.

Then I went for a lesson with a professional, and he saw something in me. He asked if I’d like to assist at weddings with him and his wife. Me? Photograph people?

I nearly said no. But I gave it a go… and it changed everything.

I fell in love with the realness of it – the connections, the little looks, the happy tears, the chaos and the calm. Not the overly posed stuff, but the real, human moments. It was the total opposite of nursing in some ways – and also deeply connected to it. I’d spent my career supporting people through the hardest days of their lives. Wedding photography gave me the chance to witness people in their most joyful ones. It became my creative outlet, my anchor, and my way to quietly care for people in a whole new way.


If the thought of being photographed makes you feel panicky…

So many couples feel nervous about the idea of being photographed – especially if they’re not used to being in the spotlight. I know how overwhelming it can feel. And I want you to know: it doesn’t have to be like that.

Here’s how I approach it differently, with people like you in mind:

  • I encourage couples to take 10 minutes of quiet time before walking down the aisle – to breathe, drink some water, and just be.
  • I help you think about the little things that reduce overwhelm – like playing calming music while you get ready, or creating a ‘messy corner’ to keep the space around you feeling calm.
  • If young kids are involved, I suggest they get ready earlier and step out for some calm time, too.
  • Before the day, I share tips like chamomile tea, meditation, gentle breathing. Not just fluff – stuff that actually helps.
  • On the day, I make sure you always know: you’re in control. Need a breather? Give me a nod, and I’ll handle the rest.
  • And when it comes to photos? I meet you where you’re at. Some couples want a few gentle formal shots; others don’t want any. That’s totally fine. It’s your day.

We usually do a pre-wedding shoot so you already know how I work. And I’ve got a few little tricks to help you relax and stop thinking about the camera. Honestly? Once the ceremony’s done and people relax, couples often end up asking for more photos!


If you’re anxious, your wedding day doesn’t have to be a battle

I want you to remember why you’re getting married in the first place. It’s not a performance. You don’t have to smile on cue. It’s about the two of you, and the love that’s brought you here.

Anxiety is your body’s way of trying to protect you. But there are ways to work with it – not against it. Deep breaths. Calm people around you. Permission to take breaks. No guilt. No pressure.

You can absolutely have a wedding day that feels like yours. Quiet, joyful, relaxed, full of meaning – and free from all the fuss you don’t want.


And if no one else gets it… I do.

I understand the fear. The internal chatter. The way it can rob you of moments you desperately want to enjoy. But I also know that it doesn’t have to win.

I’ll be with you every step of the way – quietly in the background, helping you feel like yourself again. You’ve got this.

And I’ve got you.